


Strictly Professional

by imma_redshirt



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Hints at future McSpirk, M/M, because I am a sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:59:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8483326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imma_redshirt/pseuds/imma_redshirt
Summary: For Jim Kirk, finding his friends half naked in bed together with ruffled hair and flushed skin was really no big deal. Seriously. He wasn’t even the tiniest bit surprised. He just wished they’d felt the same way.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Quick oneshot to get my muse working again. This was supposed to just be Spones, but Mcspirk snuck its way in there.

For Jim Kirk, the words “I’ll give you two some privacy” meant standing two meters away from his partially naked friends and turning towards the far wall while they looked for their scattered uniforms in a cozy alien hotel room.

Had the two disheveled men not been his best friends, he would have made a greater effort at allowing them a moment to collect themselves. He might have even left the room. But they _were_ his best friends, who he’d spent the better part of a five year long mission in space being captured with, tortured with, squeezed into tiny cramped spaces with, forced to huddle for warmth on frozen planets with, bound with tight ropes and offered as sacrifices to various deities with. He and Bones even changed outfits together in their rooms. Privacy held a different meaning for them all. They’d long ago reached a whole ‘nother level of what was considered comfortable and uncomfortable for the three of them. 

And for Jim Kirk, finding his friends half naked in bed together with ruffled hair and flushed skin was really no big deal. Seriously. He wasn’t even the tiniest bit surprised.

He just wished they’d felt the same way.

“I don’t know what you think went on here, Jim, but I can tell you, it sure as hell wasn’t intimate!”

“Indeed not. Any contact initiated was necessary to our well being and strictly professional.”

Jim held back a snort and nodded, standing at his ease while his First Officer and CMO tried to regain both their composure and clothing. He didn’t have to turn around to know that Spock was meticulously fixing his hair as he searched for missing garments, and that Bones wasn’t even bothering with the ruffled mess atop his own head as they both tried to appear as little flustered as possible. 

“Yes, I can see that.”

“Well, we had to share the bed,” Bones said after a split second of silence. “There was only one, and we weren’t gonna settle for someone sleepin’ on the floor.”

“We also shared the blanket,” Spock added. “The temperature fell during the night.”

“...And the pillows. But that’s _it_.”

“Of course,” Jim said. “And breakfast?”

The shuffling behind him paused. Beside the bed that the two had shared without engaging in any type of contact beyond the necessary and strictly professional, there sat an elegant cart laid out with silver plates of hard boiled eggs and sausage links and toast, little cups of yogurt and nuts and fresh fruit, and a silver pitcher of iced water. Two plates had been filled--one with eggs and sausage and toast and the other with sliced fruit and a cup of nuts--and judging by how much food was left and the overturned nut cup, the food had either been horrible, or had been abandoned half way through in favor of more delectable pursuits.

“Well,” Bones said after a moment, “Sure. A man and a Vulcan have got to eat, don’t they?”

“You’re right, Bones,” Jim said. “What better way to regain your energy after a busy night.”

“Listen here, you--”

“We didn’t wish to decline the meal and insult our hosts,” Spock said, cutting off the doctor’s rant. Bones added, “What he said,” before the sounds of two people manhandling blankets to look for misplaced shirts began again. 

Jim hid a grin with his hand. Spock and McCoy had been missing for two days before he found them. As part of a landing party sent to study ruins on a supposedly uninhabited planet, the two officers had disappeared only minutes into their assignment. After an extensive search of the planet, and extensive apologies to the natives who lived beneath the surface, Kirk had been led to what the planet’s authorities had called a holding cell. Initially, he had been worried that his friends were being kept in a dry, cold, barren, stone chamber--which was what they were all used to when captured. But the room he ended up being led to was completely unexpected: high ceilings, windowless but brightly lit, with soft, blue carpets, elegantly designed sofas, a hand carved coffee table, a sliding door that presumably led to a bathroom, and a wide bed topped with a canopy and surrounded by a sheer net at the far wall. 

“They are not our enemies, so why would we wish them discomfort?” Erman, Jim’s guide, had said with a frown when questioned.

Indeed, his friends seemed to have suffered no discomforts at all. They’d been given a bed big enough for _three_ , with a thick comforter, soft, clean sheets, and a dozen fluffed pillows. And even though the bed had been roomy enough for a human and a Vulcan to sleep with considerable amount of space between them, Jim had found them curled up together in the middle of rumpled sheets, Bones snoring away into Spock’s bare chest and Spock’s long limbs wrapped securely around the good doctor. Jim and the search party had probably suffered more than the two of the “prisoners” combined. 

Even so, Jim was just happy to be standing in a “cell” with his living, breathing, unharmed friends. 

He heard Bones mutter “the hell are my pants?” With one hand still over his mouth, Jim looked down and saw a pair of Starfleet uniform pants bundled near his feet. He picked them up and held them out behind him.

“Bones.”

After a brief pause, the pants were jerked from his hand.

“I hope you’re at least halfway decent,” Jim said, turning back to face his friends. “Your ‘hosts’ only gave me ten minutes to collect you two.” 

Bones challengingly met his eyes as he pulled his pants on and struggled with the broken zipper and a missing button. He was blushing from the tips of his ears to the slender expanse of his shoulders. Behind him, Spock adjusted his undershirt with that familiar Vulcan calm, one hand discreetly pulling the collar up to hide a dark green spot at the base of his neck, where the mouth of one salty Southern doctor had certainly sucked. Neither seemed to have found their blue uniforms yet.

“What’s the hurry?” Bones asked, still struggling with his zipper. Jim tried not to imagine which one of them had torn it open to get to the flesh underneath. Now was not the time.

“They’re eager to get in here and clean up before a couple who reserved this, ah, _cell_ for the night arrives.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Reserved, Captain?”

“Well,” Jim said, grinning down at his feet. “You didn’t think this was a normal prison cell, did you?”

“‘Course not,” Bones grunted. He seemed to have made some progress with the zipper, and was tugging his black undershirt down to hide the missing button. “They said something about their other holding cell being under construction, and this place would have to do.”

“Yes, well,” Jim said, bending down to pull a rumpled blue uniform from under the bed. “This holding cell you’ve been sharing for two days is a newlywed’s suite in one of their most popular hotels.” He tossed the uniform to Spock. “I’ve been told it’s not their most expensive suite, but requested often enough.”

Spock caught the uniform at the last second. He arched an eyebrow and began to pull the blue shirt on, while Bones gaped at Jim in shocked silence for a good ten seconds.

“This is a hotel?” The doctor blurted, then sputtered, “ _Newlywed_ suite!”

Spock tried to smooth the wrinkles in his uniform out, failed, and clasped his hands behind his back, frowning. “I fail to see any logic in placing two prisoners in a popular hotel, Captain.”

“What if we were bad men?” Bones ranted. “What if we escaped and harmed their guests? Who the hell puts strange, possibly _dangerous_ men into a _newlywed suite?_ ”

Jim shrugged. He couldn’t stop grinning. “Well, they seem to possess some sort of psychic abilities and read the two of you as harmless. There didn’t see any reason to make either of you uncomfortable, especially since you two are--and I’m quoting here Bones, don’t blame _me_ \--’quite clearly infatuated with each other.’”

There was a beat of silence.

“Of all the most ridiculous damned things--”

“Their reasoning is deeply flawed--”

“--look, nothing happened here, Jim, we were just, _sleeping_ \--”

“--I do not understand what evidence led them to believe--”

“Spock, Bones,” Jim said, and his friends stopped talking over each other. “You don’t have to fool your Captain. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s not like I haven’t seen you both naked before, and finding you together was not unexpected. Did you really think I didn’t realize there was something more to all that banter? I like to think as Captain of the Enterprise, I can tell when two of my officers--and my best friends--are trying to hide the beginnings of a relationship.” He clasped their shoulders, bringing them closer together, and grinned. “I’m happy for you two fools, do you understand?”

They exchanged a glance, and some of the panic melted from McCoy’s face, and Spock relaxed ever so slightly under Jim’s hand. Before either of them could respond, the door to the suite opened, and the hotel’s manager poked her pale blue head in.

“Hullo! I apologize for the disturbance, but, ah, we will be needing this suite soon, and the cleaning staff is very eager to start tidying up, so…”

“We’ll be on our way, Erman,” Jim said. He patted them once, and then took Bones by the elbow to lead him out. Spock followed at Bones’s side. 

As they moved forward, Jim could _feel_ some of that righteous McCoy fury radiating with renewed fervor from his doctor. Jim normally enjoyed seeing that fire in his friend, but Erman really didn't deserve his wrath. With a scowl, and with clear intent to be a stubborn southern belle, Bones jerked his arm out of Jim’s hold and stalked ahead on his own.

When he reached Erman, he wagged a finger in the manager’s face. “Now look here--”

“Ah, Doctor McCoy! I hope the room was comfortable enough for you and your mate?” Erman said, smiling and apparently unperturbed by the fuming human invading her personal bubble. “My co-manager thought the room across the hall would be better, but I didn’t read any desire for jacuzzis from either of your minds, so I insisted the Cozy Suite would be much better suited for your needs.” She looked at Jim, having left McCoy incredulous and speechless, and chuckled. “Your friends were very tired and confused when we found them--the poisonous gas they came across has that effect, unfortunately--and they clearly needed somewhere cozy to rest and enjoy each other’s presence.” She laughed outright and patted McCoy lightly on his shoulder. “We didn’t need our abilities to see that!”

Before Bones could rant again, Spock placed his own hand on the doctor’s shoulder and nodded gracefully at Erman. “The room was indeed comfortable, and we did enjoy our stay. Thank you, Erman.”

McCoy turned his incredulous stare on the Vulcan. Spock gave him a meaningful look, one eyebrow twitching, and McCoy’s shoulders sagged. He shrugged helplessly. “Right. It was nice. Thanks.”

Erman beamed. “Oh, I’m glad to hear it! Such a lovely, sweet couple deserves a nice retreat from stresses, wouldn’t you say?”

McCoy closed his eyes in that slow way that meant he was silently asking the heavens above for patience. Spock only nodded.

“Jenine here will escort you the surface. Thank you for your stay, and we look forward to your return!”

Spock began to follow the slender native with McCoy at his side. Jim noticed McCoy didn’t even try to shrug Spock’s hand off, and even seemed to lean into the Vulcan’s presence. 

He turned to a delighted hotel manager and smiled, reaching forward to shake her gloved hand. 

“Erman,” he said, “Once again, thank you for taking care of my friends, and keeping them comfortable. I don’t think we’ve been treated with such kindness for a while, now.”

“It was my pleasure, Captain,” the manager said. “I do hope their stay here has helped them with the issues in their relationship. It might help with yours as well!”

Jim’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry?”

“Ah, forgive me, I forget myself. My mind is being pulled in a dozen directions at the moment!” She squeezed Jim’s hand and patted his shoulder. “Goodbye, Captain. I wish safe travels for you and yours!”

Jim nodded, mind still preoccupied with the manager’s words. “And the same to you. Goodbye, Erman.”

As Jim left after his friends, Erman at their retreating forms and sighed. “It would have been much more successful had you been there as well, Captain. Ah, well! I’m certain you’ll all figure it out. Hardly a thought passes through their minds without you in it!”

With a reassured nod, the manager turned to the empty room and began to direct the cleaning staff, pointing out some ripped blue material tangled with the bed sheets, mind already on her next guests.

**Author's Note:**

> The end feels a bit rushed to me, because I was having some real trouble ending it so I apologize for that. Hope you enjoyed the read anyway!


End file.
